I always known as someone who worries a lot. I get anxious over small things that actually should not be worried that much. I too always overthinking about something. Honest to say, I am not filled with positive energy. That's why, I'm prone to get stressed so easily.
Recently, I figured out that people get to experience the feeling of being anxious because we dislike uncertainty. Mainly because we still can't get over our past or we tend to think a lot about our future. It's not bad to learn something from the past and plan your future. But, things get serious when you're stuck in the past or future. When you're not able to live the moment.
That's exactly my biggest problem. I always oversee my future and I forget to enjoy the current situations. I do this even since I was little. I remember when I was still a toddler, I thought, "How does it feel to be a grown up? When you have to work so hard to pay the bills. How to be superhuman that knows and can do anything for your child?". I know it's so strange for a toddler to think like that, but that's me.
Everytime I go somewhere, no matter it's only to shopping malls or travel far away from home, what I always think is "I can't wait to get over this and back to home". Yeah, I'm the kind of person who's stuck in my own comfort zone. I don't really enjoy the banter of life. Stepping out from my comfort zone overwhelms me. But as I get older, I realize how can you be more mature when you always stay still in your comfort zone? Life is about going out there, living the life!
When I enrolled in Middle School, I started to plan where will I go for high school. I graduated, went to high school and did the same thing. I've known since ninth grade that I will take major in Psychology. My life is like that. I look ahead my future that I forget to live in the present. What you do now is your past's future, so yeah. That's why I feel like time flies so fast. I don't cherish the moments, I'm just afraid that time will be over so soon.
Future is so mysterious. Everyone worries about their death. Nobody knows when, where, how will you die. It's so uncertain and it makes you anxious. You don't know who will come to your life. You don't know with whom you'll end getting married with. You don't know your future career. Today you can be so certain that you'll be A, but it turns out you are going to the B path.
Life is so unpredictable like that. It frustrates you. It makes you think back that you're just a human. Sometimes, you just can't plan everything and it will turn out well. There will be a twist, but that what makes your life more meaningful. If you trust God, in the end you will realize you can't do nothing but let God leads you.
Living the moment is the best way to live a happy life. Stop thinking "If only I could turn back time" or "What will happen to me?". You are what you do right now. Instead of worrying so much about the future, let's try to actually do something now. I want to study master's degree so bad in UK, so I'm preparing myself to study well (Both academically and my english!). But, again don't push yourself too hard. No one forced me to do master's degree, so in case I can't pursue my dream, it means it's not my destiny.
A little tip from me, if you ever feel life treats you horribly, talk to someone you can trust. They may not give you the best advice, but it still better than keep it to yourself. If you are shy, you can write in your journal. If you don't feel better than I suggest you to seek for professional help (psychologist, psychiatrist, etc).
Love,
Natasha
PS : Living the moment not equals to Y.O.L.O :) you have to enjoy the time you have now, do something, think realistic, so that you don't have to worry about your future. Because what you do know will affect your future :)
Remember to choose wisely.
Remember to choose wisely.
