Psychology : Yes or No? (LONG POST ALERT)

As you may know, I am a psychology student currently on my last year (HOPEFULLY) doing my undergraduate thesis (Yes it's a thing in Indonesia education system). So, basically just one step closer to graduate and acquire a Bachelor of Psychology.

On this rare occasion, I would like to write and give details about how it is to be a psychology student.This post is actually dedicated to you who wish to pursue degree in psychology. I would like to give a glimpse to what will you study and prospect career in psychology field. 

I've always wanted to study psychology since on ninth grade. Surprising? 

Yeah, I am a long-term planner. 

It actually began from school. My school has this period called "character formation" simply learning about ourselves. Imagine, being a teenager who has big body like an adult but mentally we are still kids. It's weird period of time indeed. So, I started notice how cool to study about humans. I really like to fill down that personality quiz (Even the silly one on Buzzfeed) and intelligence test known as IQ test (Yeah, I'm a weirdo). Probably that's where it started. I remember, I tried to google about psychology and found out that it's a field of study about human beings. 

So, when in high school, I know that I just need to pass every subjects. Graduated to get the certificate as a ticket to study psychology at uni. 

#FUNFACT 1
In Indonesia, the education system require you to choose to study social sciences (Economics, Geography, Sociology) or natural sciences (Biology, Physics, Chemistry). In my generation, we are obligated to choose a major on eleventh grade (Year 11). Students will study hard to get good grades during their time on tenth grade  so they can major in natural sciences.

#FUNFACT 2 

For those of you who don't familiar with this kind of thing, it's known that natural science students gain more benefits than social science students. They can major anything in uni because stereotypically, they are smarter than their fellow social science students. 

But, hell yeah I don't care, I've always known my strength is in social sciences. I know that in order to eligible majoring psychology, I can use my social science certificate. So, why study hard? Hahaha.

Okay, to conclude my journey on ended up in psychology, I always want to learn about humans. Personally, I know I have "gift" to mediate between two people who have conflicts, I am always be the friend who people are telling bad days about every night, and basically I am like a people's emotional trash can. 

My second option is actually studying literature but I have strong feeling to major in psychology..

So, I get accepted in 2015 as a psychology student in one of well-known universities in Jakarta. 

I am not going to explain the curriculum on my uni, but let's talk about psychology from now on.

Alert : I would talk about psychology in Indonesia's context. 

I thought it's going to be like all day taking personality quizzes, getting know about ourselves, and have fun listening to people's shit (YEAH IT'S FUN SOMETIMES, don't get me wrong), but it's quite a trap guys.

PSYCHOLOGY is a study of human behaviour. YES. BEHAVIOUR. 

Yeah, we don't read minds, read souls, or fortune-telling. THAT'S VERY BASIC THING to know before you enter this field. 

#FUNFACT 3
No, we don't simply diagnose people. "You are stupid, You have bipolar, You are not eligible to be the employee of this company, et cetera).
We observe, interview, gather data from research, or conduct a psychological test to verify their behaviour. Collecting the data about the person or subject known as ASSESSMENT . 

WE ALWAYS REQUIRED TO HAVE EVIDENCE TO SUPPORT OUR DIAGNOSIS.

It's pretty universal actually. 

Just like conducting a research. You write a hypothesis and in order to proof your hypothesis, you need to gather data, analyse it, and conclude something whether your hypothesis is rejected or accepted. 

QUESTION 1 - What it takes to be a psychology student?

In Indonesia, of course you have to get Ijazah SMA (IPA/IPS/Bahasa would do) but remember different uni have different requirement. If I'm not mistaken, Padjajaran University (UNPAD) only accept Ijazah SMA with natural science major (because they are more focus on biological psychology). But most of uni will accept students from social sciences. 

Yeah this is mostly the most important requirement HAHAHA.

You will also have to take some assessment. In my uni, I have to take english, math, intelligence test, and personality test. It's a little bit strict maybe because we will learn lots of mystery about human beings.

But, overall go finish your high school and being a good person is enough.

Brace yourself for another session of Maths, Biology, and Sociology!
But trust me psychology is none of like high school subjects. 

QUESTION 2 - Should psychology student have certain traits?

I would say YES. It would actually benefit you and help you to enjoy this course. 

1. Empathy. You need to have genuine feelings about people, to help people, and get to know them well.

2. Analytical. It is surprising yes. But, it's very important to be analytical because psychology turns out to be a field of study who has strong research-based. Maybe it's because psychology it's intangible unlike studying economics (you count the money), law (you know the laws written), or doctor (there's a biological support to see). But psychology... can you read people's mind? can you see mental illness? can you see intelligent? It's abstract. So, yeah it's a benefit for you if you like analysing stuffs.
BESIDES, we will try to diagnose people.

3. Have a good time-management. It's actually applied to all uni students. There will be shitloads to do. Lectures don't give a fuck if you have three deadlines that day. So yeah, you should know when to write down your papers, meet your friends/significant other, and SLEEP! As psychology student, it is important to manage your time mainly because there will be lots of papers to do, quizzes, interviewing people, and you need to focus when on counselling session, right? You don't want up all night and sleep-deprived to meet your client. You need to chill down a bit because it's emotionally draining to listen people all the time.

4. Patient - Oh, man. Listening to people's problem for straight 2 hours require some serious level of patience. Or meeting with loud children, stubborn adults, and demanding elders.

5. Knowledgeable and Open-Minded. As what I stated before, we study about humans. Humans are influenced by their biological status, psychological status, and culture. Humans are complex. So it's highly chance you will talk with a person who has the opposite values, cultures, and beliefs with you. You need to know a lot (At least the basic) of EVERYTHING. And it's very important to be open-minded because yeah not all people have same opinions or beliefs with you. You need to accept other human for who they are.
NO JUDGEMENT.

QUESTION 3 - What will I study on Psychology?

It's not always about counselling, taking psychological test, or judging people.
We study a lot of things.

Like any other sciences, Psychology also have branches. Four major psychology branches (as taught in my uni) are :

Clinical - A branch of psychology that studies about mental health (diagnose, assessing, and analysing) including theories of personality, abnormal psychology, biological psychology (it's quite daunting as if you are a medical student), neuropsychology (mind-blowing subject), counselling, health psychology, and conducting psychological test
Educational - A branch of psychology that focus on education (Yeah this doesn't help, isn't it). Well, basically you will learn about children like special needs children or gifted children, developmental psychology, and conditioning (how people's learn a behaviour).
Occupational (Industry/Organisation)  - A branch of psychology that studying about people in their work environment including recruiting employees. do some trainings,
Social - A branch of psychology that studies about human and it's society they live in. They see human as broad term, how environment influences us, such thing.

Other major subjects in psychology include
Statistic - Oh you wish you would ran away from math but you just can't. YES we do learn how to analyse data, calculate them (with SPSS usually), and interpret the data.
Research - Like I said, psychology is heavily influenced by research. We are a field of study who need recognition by providing empirical evidence.
Assessment Methods - Whether is how to interview people assertively, observing skills, counselling, conducting psychological test and how to score it.
Psychometric - This is when psychology crossover with Math. What is about? I can't even explain.
It's basically the math version of psychology.
Ethics - Learn about what the professional codes of psychology world. Confidentiality, Act of Consent, Transference between Client and Psychologist, etc.

The rest actually are minor and depends on your university. Like in my uni, there is experimental psychology (yes psychology do lab research too), and specific kind of psychology like art, sexuality, market research, women psychology, child abuse, etc.

NOTE :
Undergraduate psychology mainly focus on the concepts, theories, and introduction about psychology. You will learn and get used to any psychological terms. You will learn how to conduct research, collecting data (by interviewing people, observing people, and do some tests).
But it's really just the surface which I will further discuss on next question.
YOU CAN'T INTERPRET TEST RESULT, DIAGNOSING PEOPLE WITH MENTAL DISORDERS, OR GIVING ADVICE TO PEOPLE ABOUT THEIR PROBLEMS. Funny, ey?
We are not qualified to do that. Yet. 

QUESTION 4 - What to expect after I graduated?

Well, you are not going to be a psychologist after you graduated. You will only earn bachelor's degree. This happen in other countries as well.

So, what can you do with bachelor of psychology?

You can work in companies as Human Resource Development whether is conducting psychological test, do some training to new employees, payroll, etc.
You can work as teacher, school counselor, basically educator.
You can work as psychologist assistant.
You can work in any social organisation or foundation (Lembaga Swadaya Masyarakat)

To be honest, you can work in any field because psychology is a really useful knowledge.

DON'T ASK ME, I'M STILL CLUELESS TOO ABOUT WHAT TO DO IN THE FUTURE

QUESTION 5 - SO, HOW TO BE A PSYCHOLOGIST?

In Indonesia, you need to earn master's degree (S2) titled M.Psi (Master Psikologi) to acquire official licensed as psychologist. So you need to study 2 years more.
In UK/USA, what I know is you need to earn doctoral's degree (S3) such as PhD or DClinPsy. It would take 4-5 years more.

YEAH, I TOLD YOU IT'S GOING TO BE A LONG JOURNEY.
So, brace yourself!

I think it's really important to study more as psychologist because human beings are really complicated. And you need good knowledge to be able to diagnose them.
So if you want to study further, have thirst of knowledge, and ready to settle down in psychology, go beyond undergraduate!


So, have I answered all of your question about psychology?

Studying psychology is not easy as many people say. "Oh you just need to sit down and read people's mind". OH HELL NO. WE NEED TO SIT DOWN, SEE WHAT IS INTANGIBLE TO SEE, MAKING SENSE OF IT, AND FIND EVIDENCE TO SUPPORT OUR JUDGEMENT.
I BET THAT'S EASY!

But, seriously. You will learn a lot of new things that never been taught in school before. You will learn a lot about understanding other people. You have this automatic skill to relate with other people's emotion, feeling, and thought. You will meet many many new people. You will be more open with current affairs, other beliefs, and accepting people more! So it's really great.

I am not regretting my time here as psychology student.

It's tough, it's stressful, it's nerve-wrecking but it's worth it.

Still have some question regarding psychology?
Comment down below and I will answer!

Hope this will strengthen your desire to study psychology or the opposite? :)
You will have a good time!!!

Love,
Natasha who pursuing her bachelor's degree

What is Happiness?

When I was still a little girl, I get sick so easily. Just a little exposure at windy place, I would caught a flu. Too much oily fried food, and I would get sore throat. So, I really used to eat bland and plain food. I love chicken porridge so much and herb drinks like hot ginger and other chinese traditional drink. I love wearing long-sleeve t-shirt or sweaters and socks as like I live in North Europe. Taking medicine, going to doctor appointment, diagnosed with so many sickness are all my friends.

So, when I was little, my happiness is as simple as I get permission from my mother to eat Stik Balado. One of my favorite snacks of all the time. It feels so good especially to eat something that you don’t always get to eat everyday since it’s so unhealthy. You know how rare that ocassion to be able to eat any food you like without getting sick.

When you are just innocent child, you are so happy to see the museum for the first time. You are so excited to read another book. There are a lot of things to discover. I feel so happy to play around with my friends, with my neighbours. Those were times when you don’t have to worry about your assignments, your job. You just have to play, study, read, and waste your time.

But when you grow up, the definition of happines changes too. As I became a teenager, I forget how cool it was to play “Bentengan” during break time. There came the time when girls get her first period and then suddenly the hormone strikes in. I started to be that histerical teenage girl who worships Western boy bands. (Thank God I didn’t grow up to be a K-Poper --> sorry not sorry K-poper who read this).

You know how expensive it is to buy imported magazine? If I collected all the money I waste, maybe I could pay my tuition fee for a semester in college. And don’t forget all those useless merchandise that only became a dust now. All of the albums, the books, the additional albums, movies, etc that I impulsively bought?

But it was a good time. When my friend gave me a brand new One Direction album to me. When I saw them for the first time. When I get to listen to their music for the first time and I like it. When their music accompany my lifeless adolescent era. That’s my happiness. The adrenaline rush when I see their new music video. Or when I went to their concert (And I hate crowded place so much, so it’s like they have magic!”

And when I started high school, I see lots of my friends travel around the world. I consider myself is lucky to get the experience too. Since I little, I get to travel many places and it shaped me as someone who’s quite adaptable in new environment. I know how to plan, to react quick, to be indepedent. But, I admit that I become greedy to wonder new places. I get ambitious to see this world, especially I love to learn things. I’m thirsty of knowledge.

So my happiness that time counts when I can travel overseas, especially my favorite continent, Europe. I just love the architecture. If I had money, I would surely invest a small cottage in English countryside. So when I went to UK, my number one bucket list, it was like a dream comes true. I still remember how amazed I am with EVERYTHING in the country. I just wish to live there someday.

Now, I am a young adult. Soon to be graduated from college (I know I hasn’t even started my thesis yet, but still it’s getting closer!!!). I wonder why it’s hard to please me now. It’s not like I get depressed (maybe I am?). I lost the joy of simple happiness. Eating my favorite food feels like ordinary. When I go somewhere, no my jaw doesn’t drop like when I was little. When I got the latest album of my favorite band, no I don’t scream anymore. I don’t dance around.

I started to wonder, what makes me happy now?

I don’t even read so many books like I used to.

I don’t write as much as I do when I was little.

My creativity became dull. I become this rational girl who needs scientific evidence on everything.

Where did it go, the time when I hug my mother only for Stik Balado? Or scream at your friend because she bought you a brand new One Direction album? Or when you travel somehwhere new and you feel the butterfly in your stomach?

As I write this, I realized that happiness may change over time. Of course when you’re an adult, you don’t get excited when you watch new episode of Spongebob Squarepants. You find new interesting things when you grow up. You even found someone to love. Who make you happy.

I know that this period of time, people at my age are struggling to find their soulmate. The potential spouse to grow old with. I wish I found him too. But well, what can I do when I’m here, sitting alone at the crowded cafe, pouring myself in writing, listening to music, and doesn’t bother people’s business?

When I struggle (I still struggle though) with anxiety, everything I do feels like in vain. I don’t even get excited to go travel new country. I focus too hard on my anxiety, until it bothers me. I don’t concentrate at class. I feel like nobody cares me. I feel alone and I feel like there’s no bright future ahead me. I gain weight and it stressed me out. My GPA fluctuates and it stressed me.

But I learn to be grateful with the little things. It’s not wrong to dream big. I dream that someday I can travel around the world, to see, to learn, to feel the new things around me.

I dream of having my own novel. I dream of being a psychologist. I dream of helping people with mental health issues. I dream of living on my own place with my Pug. I dream of finding a loving husband who will love me for who I am.

It is important for us to appreciate things. You still can enjoy your food without worrying your money or health. You still have time to reconsinder your career path. You still have time to fix up your mistakes. You still have time to smile. To smell the pollution of Jakarta (just kidding I mean the ‘fresh air’). Appreciate your time with your loved ones. Appreciate your single-less drama life without someone trying to stop your dreams. It’s never too late to be grateful.

I learnt that you cannot rely on something (mostly MONEY) because it’s like independent variable. 
It changes every day depends on circumstances. Just like our childhood to teenagers to adulthood.

And no, you can’t rely on someone to. 
What if they’re gone? What if they turn out not to be as good as what you always thought to be?

I always thought having a significant other would change your life, but no.  

I’d rather be happy on my own independence than letting someone else guide me and change me to someone I won’t be able to recognise.

People are basically selfish creature whose intention is to make themselves happy.

But... then what makes us happy?

The answer turn out to be as simple as YOURSELF!

HAPPINESS IS YOUR CHOICE!

I choose to get up every morning despite my constant overthinking in my head.

I choose to laugh with friends over stupid things.

I choose to focus more on what’s going now. To live the moment.

I choose to accept flaws because nothing is perfect.

I choose to be less comparing myself with someone else’s life

I choose to be less grumpy because wow I have so many things to be thankful for

I choose to see the good things on being single rather than crying out begging someone to love you so that you can be in a relationship.

I guess that’s my definition of happiness.

To see the good things, to be grateful for what we have now.

Because each day has enough problem of its own.

Because life is just too short to hold grudges to someone else. To be mad. To be filled with so many negative emotions.

Choose wisely.

You are the one who controls your life. (Apart of God’s plan of course)

Enjoy your day!

Love,

NV

Japan Trip Part 1

Lama tidak menulis di blog, gue memutuskan untuk menceritakan perjalanan gue kemarin ke Jepang dengan teman lama gue, Michelle. I don't usually write about my journey because I often feel like I want to brag myself if I do that , but this time it's totally different because this trip taught me a lot of lessons. 

Biasanya gue pergi liburan dengan mama dan cici apalagi ke negara yang jauh. Kita pun juga 3 kali ikut tur dan baru tahun lalu gue mencoba pergi sendirian dengan cici dan tunangannya. And I realize it was fun! Pergi dengan tur memang teratur, nyaman, dan pastinya bakal melihat tempat penting di suatu negara, tapi pergi sendiri mengajarkan banyak hal yang justru membuat liburan menjadi semakin seru karena ada tantangan yang harus dihadapi.

Gue dan Michelle merencanakan perjalanan kita ini dari bulan Maret kemarin (kalau tidak salah ingat). Kita seperti biasa facetime sambil bertukar cerita dan tiba-tiba muncul ide gila untuk jalan-jalan bareng. Jadi gue dan Michelle memang sudah bertemen deket dari SMP tapi tidak pernah jalan-jalan bareng. Maka, kita pun meniatkan rencana kita itu. Destinasi yang kita pilih akhirnya Jepang karena kita berdua gak pernah ke sana, dan menurut kita dari segi biaya, keamanan, jarak, dan semuanya Jepang merupakan negara yang paling masuk akal buat kita datengin.

Jadilah kita membeli tiket pesawat. Lalu booking AirBnB untuk mengirit biaya akomodasi. Sebetulnya gue pikir, ide jalan-jalan ini lumayan gila buat gue. Gue harus naik pesawat sendirian untuk pertama kalinya dan jaraknya pun cukup jauh. Tujuh jam. So, jujur gue gugup. Sangat gugup.  Ditambah, gue sebetulnya kurang menyukai Jepang terutama karena gue takut tidak bisa makan. Gue hanya makan daging ayam dan sapi, so yeah... gue takut gak bisa makan makanan di sana yang didominasi oleh babi dan seafood (Dua musuh gue di Indonesia). Tapi namanya juga penasaran, so teruslah berjalan rencana perjalanan ini.

Mendekati hari pergi, gue literally gak ada semangat untuk membut itineary, mix n match baju, dan membeli perintilan kecil seperti tiket wisata dan tiket JR Pass (kereta untuk di Jepang). Mungkin karena pada awalnya gue tidak tertarik juga dengan Jepang jadi memengaruhi gue juga jadi agak malas-malasan menyiapkan perjalanan ini. Gue agak sebel bahkan dengan Michelle yang juga susah diajak diskusi karena dia pergi charity gereja ke India. Gue mulai berpikir, perjalanan ini akan jadi buruk.

Sampai tibalah hari H. Gue naik pesawat di malam hari sendirian. Gue gak bisa tidur. Siapa sih yang bisa tidur pules di pesawat? Akhirnya dengan istirahat yang sangat singkat, gue merasa sangat kelelahan. Tapi gue harus berjuang lagi untuk pergi ke apartemen sendirian di negara asing yang tidak gue tahu sama sekali bahasanya. Gue rasanya antara semangat karena gue ditantang menjadi mandiri, tetapi pengen nangis juga karena harus mengandalkan diri sendiri menggeret koper di negara asing ini. Baru kali ini gue merasa menjadi orang asing yang totally buta dengan negara itu. Mungkin karena gue sendirian*. Yang gue tahu dari Jepang cuman Doraemon sama Detective Conan. 

*Oh ya, gue tidak berangkat bareng Michelle karena dia kuliah di Korea, so yeah kita beda pesawat dan beda bandara. Gue sampai di Haneda yang thanks God lebih deket dari kota dan dia sampai di Narita yang lebih jauh dari kota Tokyo. Gue sampai pukul 9 pagi waktu Jepang dan dia baru berangkat jam segitu dari Korea. So basically, I'm all by myself for 5 hours. 

So, hal pertama yang gue lakukan ketika sampai adalah membeli nomor lokal. Gue membeli sim card 7 hari dengan harga 4.500 yen yang awalnya gue kira murah, tetapi setelah gue itung dengan kalkulator harganya bikin kepala gue pusing. Why I'm so stupid, tapi mau bagaimana lagi kalau gak gue gak bisa komunikasi sama Michelle dan keluarga di Indonesia. Setelah ada internet, gue pun membeli kartu transportasi namanya Suica Card yang ternyata bisa dipakai di luar Tokyo juga. Basically, Suica yah kayak Ezlink di Singapore atau Oyster di London yang bisa dipake naik subway dan bus. Jadi sistemnya beli kartu lalu bisa di top-up sesuka hati sesuai kebutuhan. 

Harus gue akuin, jalur kereta Tokyo sangat rumit. Line MRT Singapore hanya seperti mainan anak kecil. Bahkan line Tube di London pun masih sangat lebih mudah dimengerti. Jika mencoba dipahami ada Tokyo Metro yang jalur kereta pusat kota Tokyo, lalu ada JR yang kayaknya nyambung dengan kota-kota di seluruh Jepang. Tarif-nya pun berbeda dan jelas JR jauh lebih mahal. Serius sampai sekarang pun gue juga kurang paham. Untung ada aplikasi Japan Rail yang menyelamatkan gue (anyway, gue gak diendorse). Dan maafkan jika yang tinggal di Tokyo membaca tulisan gue ini, gue hanya menghabiskan waktu kurang dari seminggu di Tokyo. Jadi, harap dimaklumi jika gue salah.

Gue pun menaiki kereta satu per satu. Gue menempati sebuah apartemen di kawasan Komazawa yang  beberapa station dari Shibuya. Dan gue harus tiga kali ganti line hanya untuk pergi ke sana. Cobaan gue banyak banget. Karena membawa koper yang besar dengan berat hampir 16 kilogram, ditambah gue kurang tidur, dan tidak minum, gue harus menggeret koper itu naik dan turun tangga. Gue sedih ketika exit ke apartemen gue itu harus naik tangga. Gue pun memilih naik lift karena yang bener aja gue ngangkat koper itu naik 50 anak tangga?! 

But, guess what... karena gue mengabaikan instruksi host AirBnB, gue berakhir nyasar. Like literally gue gak tahu harus kemana. Gue berakhir di exit yang berbeda dan otomatis gak bisa ikutin panduan dari host. Gue pun muter sana-sini kayak orang linglung. Dan tidak ada yang tertarik untuk membantu gue juga. Padahal gue yakin kalo gue bisa ngeliat diri gue, gue pasti terlihat menyedihkan dengan wajah capek, nenteng koper, dan mata jelalatan nyari jalan. Gue pernah belajar di awal kuliah kalau budaya orang Timur adalah memberi arahan dengan patokan, beda dengan budaya orang Barat yang selalu jelas memberikan suatu alamat. Sekalipun negara maju pun, Jepang juga sulit dikenali dengan jelas.

Keajaiban dari Tuhan datang ketika gue menyebrang ke arah Seven Eleven, gue berjalan lurus dan gue mau nangis ngeliat alamat jalan itu persis dengan alamat apartemen gue. Tuhan masih sangat baik sama gue. Ketika gue melihat perumahan itu, sontak gue langsung teringat dengan perumahan yang digambarkan di komik Doraemon. Gue langsung semangat lagi apalagi ketemu juga apartemen yang akan gue tinggali selama seminggu itu.

Gue kira gue bisa segera naik dan menaruh koper dengan hati lega, tapi cobaan datang lagi. 

Gue yang udah capek banget dan gaptek, gak bisa buka pintu apartemen yang masih pakai sistem pin dengan pencetan dalam bahasa Jepang.

Gue rasanya pengen nangis tapi gak bisa karena kecapean. Gue mau beli minum di vending machine deket apartemen, tapi mesinnya mati. Untung gue belum masukkin duit kalo gak gue kayak orang bloon karena banyak orang lalu-lalang di jalan. Akhirnya, gue hanya celingak-celinguk doang berharap keajaiban muncul. Gue udah chat ke host gue minta bantuan, tapi dia cuman nyuruh gue baca manual book lagi dan karena gak enak gue kebanyakan bacot, gue pun nyoba-nyoba sendiri terus sampai mesinnya agak error. 

Kemudian datanglah dia. Seorang wanita paruh baya yang tersenyum ke arah gue ketika membuka pintu. Gue pun tanpa ragu bertanya kepada dia, "Excuse me, can you help me to open this door? The code number is XXXX". Dan yeah, rumor bahwa orang Jepang tidak pandai berbahasa Inggris memang benar. Dia hanya tersenyum membalas dengan bahasa dia, lalu membantu gue membuka pintu. Gue pun berterima kasih kepada dia yang membantu gue. Walau gue harus naik tangga ke lantai 3 dengan koper 16 kilo gue, gue merasa bahagia. 

Begitu koper gue udah ditaroh dengan aman di kamar, gue memutuskan pergi mencari makan dan minum sambil menunggu Michelle. Gue pun memutuskan ke Seven Eleven untuk membeli air dan dengan random gue mengambil sesuatu berwarna pink yang rupanya adalah mochi. Mochi itu kembali menyadarkan gue dan membuat gue lebih semangat. Gue pun pergi ke Mcdonalds di sebrang jalan dan makan kentang goreng yang gue rasa dipakein micin karena asinnya gak tahan. Gue jadi tambah haus setelahnya.

Gue seneng banget ketika akhirnya gue ketemu dengan Michelle di depan Mcdonalds. Akhirnya setelah setengah hari sendirian doang, ada juga orang yang bisa diajak komunikasi. 

Well, di bagian ini gue mau membahas awal perjalanan gue dimana gue mendapatkan pengalaman rasanya harus mengandalkan diri sendiri. Sebagai anak bungsu, gue menyadari bahwa gue terbiasa dibantu oleh orang yang lebih tua dari gue, otomatis gue jadi cenderung manja. Akhirnya, di ulang tahun gue kedua puluh (I just can't believe this number...) gue dipercayai oleh ibunda untuk jalan-jalan sendiri dan hasilnya luar biasa. This trip changes me quite a lot. That's why I feel sad going back to the reality (even I prefer to live in Jakarta).

Gue udah tau rasanya naik pesawat sendiri, gue belajar beradaptasi di lingkungan yang asing, gue menjadi semakin percaya diri dengan kemampuan berbahasa Inggris gue yang kayak level native speaker ketika ngomong dengan orang Jepang, gue belajar untuk lepas untuk bersenang-senang, gue bener-bener merasakan "let's get lost" untuk pertama kalinya. 

Anyway, gue gak sabar membagikan pengalaman gue ini, jadi tunggu aja posting selanjutnya di Part 2! Secepatnya gue akan tulis sebelum kembali masuk kuliah.

Love

Natasha

PS : Anyway, hampir dua minggu di Jepang, gue cuman bisa ngomong "Arigatou Gozaimasu". I'm that pathetic. 

Living The Moment

I always known as someone who worries a lot. I get anxious over small things that actually should not be worried that much. I too always overthinking about something. Honest to say, I am not filled with positive energy. That's why, I'm prone to get stressed so easily.

Recently, I figured out that people get to experience the feeling of being anxious because we dislike uncertainty. Mainly because we still can't get over our past or we tend to think a lot about our future. It's not bad to learn something from the past and plan your future. But, things get serious when you're stuck in the past or future. When you're not able to live the moment. 

That's exactly my biggest problem. I always oversee my future and I forget to enjoy the current situations. I do this even since I was little. I remember when I was still a toddler, I thought, "How does it feel to be a grown up? When you have to work so hard to pay the bills. How to be superhuman that knows and can do anything for your child?". I know it's so strange for a toddler to think like that, but that's me.

Everytime I go somewhere, no matter it's only to shopping malls or travel far away from home, what I always think is "I can't wait to get over this and back to home". Yeah, I'm the kind of person who's stuck in my own comfort zone. I don't really enjoy the banter of life. Stepping out from my comfort zone overwhelms me. But as I get older, I realize how can you be more mature when you always stay still in your comfort zone? Life is about going out there, living the life! 

When I enrolled in Middle School, I started to plan where will I go for high school. I graduated, went to high school and did the same thing. I've known since ninth grade that I will take major in Psychology. My life is like that. I look ahead my future that I forget to live in the present. What you do now is your past's future, so yeah. That's why I feel like time flies so fast. I don't cherish the moments, I'm just afraid that time will be over so soon. 

Future is so mysterious. Everyone worries about their death. Nobody knows when, where, how will you die. It's so uncertain and it makes you anxious. You don't know who will come to your life. You don't know with whom you'll end getting married with. You don't know your future career. Today you can be so certain that you'll be A, but it turns out you are going to the B path. 

Life is so unpredictable like that. It frustrates you. It makes you think back that you're just a human. Sometimes, you just can't plan everything and it will turn out well. There will be a twist, but that what makes your life more meaningful. If you trust God, in the end you will realize you can't do nothing but let God leads you. 

Living the moment is the best way to live a happy life. Stop thinking "If only I could turn back time" or "What will happen to me?". You are what you do right now. Instead of worrying so much about the future, let's try to actually do something now. I want to study master's degree so bad in UK, so I'm preparing myself to study well (Both academically and my english!). But, again don't push yourself too hard. No one forced me to do master's degree, so in case I can't pursue my dream, it means it's not my destiny. 

A little tip from me, if you ever feel life treats you horribly, talk to someone you can trust. They may not give you the best advice, but it still better than keep it to yourself. If you are shy, you can write in your journal. If you don't feel better than I suggest you to seek for professional help (psychologist, psychiatrist, etc). 

Love,

Natasha

PS : Living the moment not equals to Y.O.L.O :) you have to enjoy the time you have now, do something, think realistic, so that you don't have to worry about your future. Because what you do know will affect your future :)
Remember to choose wisely. 

2016 in Nutshell

Many people said 2016 was a mess. 2016 took away so many great people. 2016 was the year of many twist events. 2016 overall was considered to be one of the worst years in history. 

What about me?

Personally, 2016 was a good year for me. I finally went to UK, my dream country. It was wonderful and memorable journey that I still keep thinking about until now. It seems I can't really move on from UK. I visited so many cities across England and Scotland. I stayed around 10 days in London, went to Bath (amazing city by the way), Swindon, Liverpool, Manchester, Glasgow, Carlisle, Stirling, Edinburgh (my favorite), York (another good place), Sheffield, Newcastle, Nottingham,  King's Lynn (small but amazing town), and Norwich. Too bad I didn't go to South England or Ireland :( but I will, someday. 

Apart of travelling, 2016 was not my year. I was at the top of my happiness when I went to UK, but at the same time, I felt the worst of my life in late 2016. College life was totally hectic. I felt like I couldn't handle myself. I lost contact with myself. I felt so vulnerable, weak, and useless. That year, I got experienced what I only learnt in class. I got sick like 3-4 times in one semester. The worst part is I felt hopeless to achieve my dream as a psychologist. It was that bad that close people around were worried about me. 

So yeah, 2016 was not a good year for me too. Because, the bad things outdid the good things that happened. 

But still thanks for the memories, the lessons, the pain, the joy, the sadness, the anger, the happiness that I experienced 2016!

I know it's already mid-January but HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope 2017 will be better. 

Love

Natasha