Hey there!

I'm Natasha, the author of this blog. I'm also a psychology student who is working hard to be a novelist. I like thinking deeply mainly about life. I'm not a wise person, I'm simply just a girl who wants inspire the world through my writing.

Hope you enjoy every single of my posts.

Lots of love!
Natasha

PS : Feel free to comment on my posts, I will definitely reply to your comment!


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29 December 2013

2013

Yeah mungkin ini adalah post terakhir gue di tahun 2013. Gue mau cerita betapa tahun ini berjalan cukup... entahlah... amazing?
To-the-point aja gue banyak mengalami perubahan-perubahan signifikan dalam segi apapun. Gue melalui tahun ini dengan berbagai suka dan duka menjadi seorang remaja setengah 15 tahun dan setengah 16 tahun.
Dan again, gue mengalami yang namanya sakit hati. Gue mengalami suatu keberhasilan, ada hal-hal baru yang gue coba, dan ada juga yang tetep mandek-alias jalan di tempat.
Yang ingin gue bagikan malam ini adalah betapa gue merasa semakin hari semakin aneh padahal gue udah makin besar. Gue tak henti-hentinya bilang kalau pada dasarnya gue ini pendiem. Dan gue mengalami yang namanya perubahan kepribadian saat SD menjadi... anak ide yang cukup friendly. Nah, saat SMP itulah gue mulai berubah menjadi anak yang gak mau lagi mencari perhatian. Bagi gue cukup aja yahh menjadi anak biasa dan gak harus dikenal. Dan kebiasaan gue itu jadi berlanjut sampai SMA. Gue jadi tambah menutupi diri, membatasi diri bergaul, dan malahan gue bisa dibilang gak menikmati hidup jadi anak muda. Kalo orang bilang masa SMA itu seru... bagi gue justru SMA itu saat dimana gue malah terfokus untuk sekolah yang bener. Gue belajar lebih sungguh-sungguh daripada dulu. Fokus gue daripada mencari kesenangan, sebaliknya serius sekolah.
Well, gue merasa gue ini tambah diem, agak tertutup, malu, dan self-conscious banget. Terlebih sama temen-temen baru di SMA. Gue merasa... kurang sreg. Dan mau gak mau gue juga jadi gak bisa nemu temen baru juga karena mereka juga udah sibuk sama temen-temen mereka sendiri. Tapi... gue merasa juga gue jadi makin peduli dengan penampilan dan merasa jadi stylish itu penting (?).
Selain itu lagi, gue juga jadi maleeeesss dan capek suka sama cowok. Entah mungkin terlalu sering sakit hati sampe gue udah menyerah dan capek batin sendiri sehingga gue menyerah. Gue udah tau kalo suka pasti ujung-ujungnya yah sakit hati. Jadi, daripada gue menderita sendiri... gue memutuskan juga untuk menutup hati gue. Kesannya norak memang, tapi ini bener. Gue cukup sampe sebatas tertarik karena dia mengalihkan dunia gue. Gak ada perasaan lebih dari itu.
Hhmm... dan yang sedihnya, di kala berlibur (walau ini juga gak bisa disebut juga liburan karena gak have fun sama sekali) gue malah mendapat berita gak enak. Ada yang jadian...
Yah gue sih cuma bisa pura-pura bahagia....
Mungkiinnn itu aja yang pengen gue bagikan hari ini. Gue udah gak tau lagi juga sih mau nulis apa...


2013 Highlights

January 2013 - Malam baru di negara orang dan bareng seseorang... hhmm
February 2013 - Ngasih macaroon ke seseorang
March 2013 - Ada apaan yeh...
April 2013 - Mulai suka sama RM...
May 2013 - Se ruang ujian sama seseorang
June 2013 - Ditinggal lulus sama seseorang
June 2013 - Naik kelas XI SOS!!! :*
July 2013 - Masuk ke kelas baru.... Ulang Tahun ke-16
August 2013 - Gak inget
September 2013 - Gak inget
October 2013 - Gak inget
November 2013 - Cece's graduation
December 2013 - Dibaptis :')

2013 Best Songs

1. Death And All His Friends - Coldplay
2. Charlie Brown - Coldplay
3. Truly Madly Deeply - One Direction
4. Story of My Life - One Direction
5. Still Into You - Paramore
6. Counting Stars - One Republic
7. La La La - Naughty Boy
8. Royals - Lorde
9. Pumped Up Kicks - Foster The People
10. Turned Off The TV - Leessang
11. Words I Want To Say To You - Kim Jong Kook feat Haha and Gary
12. Pursuing The Happiness - Leessang
13. My Songs Know What You Did In The Dark - Fall Out Boy
14. 4 Minutes - Madonna feat Justin Timberlake
15. Airplanes - BoB feat Hayley Williams

Uhhmmm... mungkin ini saja.
Gue mau ucapkan selamat natal dan tahun baru buat semuanya :3

Cerita singkat saat dibaptis
Perasaan gue sebelum dibaptis itu campur aduk. Antara deg-degan, santai, gak sabar, penasaran, dan merasa harus berkomitmen. Rasanya kayak mau dikawinin. Hehehehe... gue lantas diberi pengarahan sedikit, terus gue jalan ke kolam baptis.
Gue deg-degan banget. Dan waktu nama gue dipanggil... gue naik ke kolam yang katanya dangkal. Namun, pas gue coba duduk... pada dasarnya gue juga benci air dan gak bisa berenang... jadi jarang banget masuk kolam. Gue shock, ketika pak pendeta doain gue dan gue ditenggelemin begitu aja. Gue gak bisa nafas dan mau nangis. Bukannya doa... gue malah panik takut tenggelam. Sungguh, memalukan. Namun, semua itu sudah berlalu. Gue harus berubah :) Thanks, God.

Love
Natasha
PS : Happy belated sweet 17th birthday to my gorgeous unnie, Livia Laura :*


                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                

04 December 2013

One Direction Part II

Yeah, gue masih menjadi seorang directioner yang menyukai mereka sebagai musisi dan juga grup yang isinya orang-orang ganteng. Hehehe... kali ini gue mau mengungkapkan perasaan gue pribadi kepada mereka. Let's see!

I. The Boys 
- Your ranks of the boys 

Your personal feelings toward them
1) Liam      
2) Louis
3) Harry
4) Zayn- Niall

The best hair
1) Louis
2) Zayn
3) Liam
4) Harry
5) Niall

Funny and fun 
1) Harry (I just can't stop laughing at silly and random things he said)
2) Louis
3) Niall
4) Liam
5) Zayn

Their voice 
1) Harry
2) Zayn
3) Louis
4) Liam
5) Niall

From their looks
1) Liam
2) Louis, Harry, Zayn, Niall (hahahaa, they all are handsome guys xxx)

Charming and SWAG and his charisma
1) Harry
2) Louis
3) Liam
4) Zayn
5) Niall

- Your personal thoughts of the boys 

For this part only, I will explain it in Indonesian :p for a better reason

Harry : Di mata gue, Harry itu sebagai sosok yang paling janggal diantara yang lain. Dia bisa jadi 'front guy' di 1D mengingat dia yang paling populer dibanding yang lain. Harry bagi gue seorang yang lucu, polos, dan random banget. Gue gak boong suka ama kepribadiannya yang kayaknya bagus. Dia terlihat ramah dengan fans, suka melakukan tindakan konyol semacam makan jeruk pas VMA, dan membuat cewek klepek-klepek ama pesona dia. Pertama kali gue liat dia, gue langsung bilang dia itu jelek banget. Tapi, lama-kelamaan keluarlah ke-charming-an dia dan wujud aslinya yang lovely. Gue kurang suka ama dia yang saingan bikin tato ama Zayn... dan ketika dia nge-date dengan cewek yang gue gak suka (Hah, gue emang siapanya yah :|) dan  gue suka banget bikin fanfic dia :p
Liam : Well, gue emang naksir dia dari sejak gue liat muka 1D pertama kali. Ketika rambut Liam masih kribo kayak Harry. Liam banyak berubah. Dari awal gue liat dia kayak sebagai sosok yang WOW banget jadi cowok. Dia protektif ama pacarnya, dia suka Batman, dia juga kayak yang romantis gimana gitu. Karena gue suka cowok yang baik-baik dan bijak. Liam lantas berubah jadi sedikit liar, ditambah tato ( gue suka sih tato panahnya itu) , brewokan... aduh. Oh ya, walau gue suka dia... gue gak peduli sih dia mau pacaran ama siapa. Yang pasti dia gak bakal pacaran ama gue. Titik. Liam  you're still the one! Lope lope you.
Louis : Aduh dia itu gimana yah... bikin gue lemes kalo ngeliat foto dia. Dia jago banget bikin cewek rasanya gak berdaya karena tatapan tajam dari dia... aduh. Dari gue benci dia karena tipe-tipe yang suka bully orang, gue jadi demen dia. He's very attractive. Dengan matanya yang tajam, senyum ngeselinnya, keahliannya maen bola! (AHH ini yang bikin gue suka dia), dan gue seperti melihat dia punya kepribadian lain disamping dirinya yang dianggap sebagai si badut di grup. Gue lihat dia sebagai cowok setia (walau kelihatannya brengsek), romantis yang wajar dan tak berlebihan, dan kayaknya enak dibuat curhat. Hihihi, posisi dia di hati gue menggeser posisi Harry. Oh iya gue lebih suka Louis tanpa tato dan brewok.
Niall : Gimana yah... gue masih belum menemukan rasa suka gue ke Niall. (Silahkan benci gue kalian para niallers) tetapi itu nyata. Gue tau pasti pada suka Niall karena dia masih single, bebas digossipin ama cewek manapun, jago main gitar, lucu, pirang , kidal, matanyaa kerenn, punya keponakan super lucu, dan punya aksen Irish yang khas banget. Dia juga yang paling gak banyak berubah. Masih bersih dari brewok dan tato. Salut deh gue ama Niall yang masih orisinil dari belum gitu terkenal sampai terkenal sekarang. Tapi, tetep gue masih sulit menyukai dia....
Zayn : Dulu sih gue lumayan kepincut ama Zayn. Soalnya dia kayak bad-boy brengsek yang kayaknya keren. Apalagi walau dia penampilannya paling "bandel" diantara yang lain, dia malah yang paling ansos dan diem. Dia lebih suka gambar... dan kayaknya lebih suka kedamaian (seperti gue). Namun, sejak dia bersama Perrie... segalanya berubah. Hahaha... gue bukan gak suka karena dia udah tunangan atau bersama Perrie. Gue memang tidak suka bad-boy lagi! Hhhm. Tapi tetep zayn oke.

"No matter how much I love him(Liam), I still love the boys all equally"

II. Songs

Best album so far? Cause I haven't heard of the entire songs in Midnight Memories... I would say Take Me Home it's the best! Good music and lyrics too! :)

Songs of 1D that you're still listening to :
- Up All Night : Everything About You, More Than This, Na Na Na, Same Mistakes
- Take Me Home : She's Not Afraid, Loved You First, Back For You, Nobody Compares, Truly, Madly, Deeply, I Would, Little Things, Heart Attack (ahaha almost the entire album :p)

The best song ever of 1D : I think... Moments?
The first song you like before you become a directioner : I Wish
The first song you heard from 1D : One Thing (My friend introduced me this song to be sung for our vocal class)
The happiest song : She's Not Afraid
The memorable song : Everything About You :( (this reminds me of my crush...)
The best single : Little Things!
The greatest video : Story of My Life so far :')
The cutest video : Best Song Ever
The song you want to hear from the boys LIVE! : Same Mistakes
The mood-booster song : Everything About Youuu / I Want
The best lyric song : I have a lot of preferences...
*One Thing & More Than This describe my love story
*Truly,Madly,Deeply this song... I really want to sing it to 'the one' of my life someday....
*Little Things is so romantic song which make my heart's fluttered...
*I Wish it also describes my love story I guess...
*She's Not Afraid is lil bit describe my personality :)
The weirdest song : Stole My Heart
The best cover song : Teenage Dirtbag (especially Liam's part!! Just kill me right now!!!)
The funniest song : I Would
The not-so 1D song : I still think Story of My Life is so.... different from the other 1D's songs... it's like they change the genre...

III. The Other Things

Why you love One Direction? And still love them until now?
Clearly, because they know how to do marketing. I'm serious. It's like 1D's management know how to win girl's heart. One Direction is a group of 5 unique lads which all are different. Girls could choose whoever is suit her type. 1D wrote mostly love-song which girls love to hear and want to hear from boys. They have stunning appearances and make girls screaming like crazy people. They also know how to collet money from us. One by one is being released by them. Album... film... dvd... merchandise... oh how smart they are.
I love their songs. And I just love to browse their photos, re-watch funny videos of them, and sometimes watch their interview.

What things about 1D that changes you?
I spend so much money to buy their stuffs , I'm more interested in writing fanfic rather than finish my novel! I'm going crazyyy

What things you hate about 1D?
The fact that now their image is 'the tattoo band' or 'the grown-men band'. I just want them to be themselves. I'm afraid they will change into somebody that we don't know. And I hate them because they don't want to held a tour in Asia! Oh come on, we want too see you guys in reality. Not just in the pictures or videos.

What thing(s) you missed about the old 1D?
This. I want them to change their appearance right now and go back to the 'Up All Night Tour' time which is so adorable. I miss their funny videos -> this is one of the reasons why I become a directioner.
It's good to see they are growing up to be a real men... but I really miss the young-spirit version of them.

Name all of the 1D stuff you have collected :
• All of their albums (I'm going to get my Midnight Memories soon!)
• Up All Night's Yearbook Edition, Up All Night's Souvenir Edition,  Take Me Home Yearbook Edition :3 (I'm trying to get Take Me Home Japanese Edition but... I have no idea to get it)
• LWWY single
• Liam's necklace from 1D Store
• Interviews and Documentary films of them (unofficial)
• 1D Blanket
• Liam's Doll :3
• Dare to Dream, Where We Are Book
(I think that's all. I'm not an over fanatic fan. I don't buy useless stuffs)

If One Direction is going to do duet, which artist you'd like to perform with them??
Uhmm... Taylor Swift would be great. Ahahaha... or maybe with Rihanna or Justin Bieber :p Imagine if One Direction is going duet with Bieber! That would be the most-selling single ever.

What is your best tribute to the boys?
I wrote 50-pages worth of fanfic. Harry's fan fiction. It's the best fanfic I've ever written. And my friends like it so much. Even my non-directioner friend said it's great story. I'm so proud.

Do you ship Zerrie?
Well, personally I don't care about who's dating who... it's their life. We love them as idol not personally love them. Meanwhile those girls love them as a normal guy (at least let's think positively).
So, I do ship them.

Who's your favorite the boys' sibling?
Gemma Styles xxx she's so pretty.

IF 1D announce that they wanted to disband , what's the best reason that makes them want to do it?
I would love to hear, they disband because the want to live as normal people. They're tired of being the idol. I don't want to hear, one of them is fighting with the other one and that makes their friendship shattered.

What you expect next from the boys?
PLEASE HELD A CONCERT IN ASIA ESPECIALLY IN HERE, INDONESIA.  And I'd love to see the guys act in action or drama movie. You know... to be an actor!

IV. Gallery

1D Memes dedicated to Indonesian Directioners








1D Imagine


 
Bayangkan ini tukang ojek yang setiap hari mengantarkan kalian ke sekolah...


Liam! Siapa cewek lu?



Harry : Ya, saya cuma ingin bilang ke (Y/N) maaf aku pergi terus. Aku disini kangen ama kamu terus. Tidur yah, mimpi indah, aku gak pengen kamu sakit. Biar nanti kalau aku udah selesai tour, kita bisa jalan-jalan tiap hari...


Liam sings "Whenever I close my eyes, I picture you there, I'm looking at the crowd you're everywhere... I'm watching you from the stage yeah.. your smile is on every face now..."
















Bayangin aja Zayn lagi ngeliat lo kayak begini.

Bayangin ketika konser, Niall nunjuk lo terus setiap nyanyi...

Louis : Lo darimana aja (Y/N)? Gue kira lo gak bakal anterin ke stasiun. Gue cuma pergi bentar kok. Maafin gue (Y/N), gue pasti bakal kangen lo.




















Baiklah, ini saja yang mau gue tulis hari ini. Semoga kalian bisa tau pandangan gue tentang One Direction bagaimana. Gue bukan fans fanatik yang memuja dia bagaikan dewa turun dari langit... gue menyukai dan menghargai karya-karya mereka. Dan buat gue... mereka adalah pelarian dari hidup gue.
Hidup 1D!

Love love
Natasha Payne Tomlinson Styles Horan (Perrie's going to be Mrs Malik, so... :p)

PS : AKHIRNYA UJIAN SELESAI
PPS : R.I.P one of my awesome daddies, Paul Walker! You had the best blue eyes I've ever seen! I love you. And may you rest in peace in the heaven. We will miss you :')